Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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