I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
