you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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