Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
