2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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