his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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