I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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