I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
