I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
