I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
