A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
