TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize