I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
there is puke in my bra ... again
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