Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
