I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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