Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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