It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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