You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
