All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize