I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
