dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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