i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she looked like the before picture.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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