she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just want to make out with him forever
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
