Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
