you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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