drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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