Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
