my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
