Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize