If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
