I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
