Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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