Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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