i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
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drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Is it penis luge time yet?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
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I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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