i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize