if i can run in heels then i can drive
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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