oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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