All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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