Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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