I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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