when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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