STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
