two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize