see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
