I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
3 2 1 whiskey
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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