just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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