If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
