grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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