i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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