i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
