Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
