cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
