remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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