been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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