im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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