i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Enjoy the penises
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
