One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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