This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
