He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
