her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
