i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
