Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
