Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
