Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
