I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
