I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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