You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
