I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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